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Tears in Heaven (dedicated to the Connecticut Massacre Victims and Families)

I keep stopping while drafting this post.  Overflowing tears are blinding.

Tragedy strikes and you are engulfed in sorrow, disbelief.  Losing a child is like losing the ability to breathe, losing life itself.

Eric Clapton collaborated with Will Jennings to write this ballad in honor of Clapton’s four-year-old son Conor, who fell from a window of the 53rd-floor New York apartment of his mother’s friend in 1991.  What went on in Clapton’s mind the minute he saw Conor sprawled on the pavement? This song illustrates his grief and America comforted him hugely: the song is one of Clapton’s most successful and stayed in Billboard charts for weeks on end.

My heart goes out to the families and friends who are doing their best to cope with death.  Prayers keep one steady, retain peaceful and happy thoughts in one’s mind and heart —because how can you go on with your day when the person you love most goes away for good?

How can you put a handle on this pain that has intruded your sanity when lives have been snuffed out due to some heartless action?

There has to be a peaceful way out of this violence.  We get so hung up on laying the blame on just about anything in order to build up a story —because we are all clueless.

My friend says it quite aptly: we have long left love in the backyard of our dreams, sauntering out the door to meet with our egos.


Steak It’s Gonna Be

1,195 days ago, I was flat broke.

The movie that’s playing in my mind as I stand on my soapbox right now: I was walking home one night pretending to clear my mind when in fact I only had one peso in my right-hand pocket. I ignored my screaming stomach and pretended that I will be unwrapping a tightly-packed sizzling steak as soon as I get back to my $50-a-month bed-space, when in fact all I had in my body-bag pockets are three sachets of soy sauce, one packet of crispy pork rinds and one cup of rice encased in plastic wrap.  I ate dinner in tears, but at least I had a three-peso mobile load credit.

Couldn’t even afford a plateful of carbonara sauce

I was over six feet deep in debt and only had Johnny Depp as inspiration, not aspiring to meet him in person, because merely looking at him in the eye as he smiled from the covers of a tattered fashion magazine I felt as if I have already attained a positive credit report.  I went to sleep that night and silently screamed a prayer.  There were only two words in my prayer and it was the most fervent: Help me!

Three things saved me that night and it had nothing at all to do with my efforts: faith, steak and Johnny Depp.  I wanted to be like Vanessa Paradis so I worked myself out of my 1,000-lb frame.  I quit my job and applied for a new one which was quite further up the road so I had to walk farther each day to save up on fare.  And I mentally noted how savory a piece of medium-rare steak once tasted when I was treated to dinner by a college buddy and this motivated me to save up earnestly for a future I do not want to plan on.

Just to distract you, here’s a view to the screenshot that’s playing in my mind:

Summer goodness in every bite

Well, I hate giving out advice even to those who solicit it.  I pretend I live in a fairy tale where I can have my happily-ever-after clincher, but I do not pretend to know everything.  Funny how things turned out because I left that new job (yet again!) because my daughter came into my life and blessed me immensely, I still have to taste that ever-haunting medium rare slab of meat, and I have outgrown Johnny.

Looking up similar experiences posted on the Internet, it’s amazing how miracles are happening every single day.  Even children are never spared from wonderful occurrences:  He indeed has a great story to tell his future sons and grand kids.

When you wake up in the morning, what motivates you the most? May you be blessed beyond compare as you spend your day as another person’s inspiration.

Maligayang Pasko

Maligayang Pasko

Have you completed your Christmas list yet? Don’t let Santa or your BFF work overtime trying to guess what you’ve got on your bucket list.

Here’s a guide:


1. Unlimited supply of a heady brew

Creamy coffee like no other


2. Free ballet tutorials

Pointy toes


3. A little bit o’ bling goes a long, shiny way

Shiny shimmery splendid


4. An aromatic herb garden

An aromatic garden spells paradise


5.  And he on my doorstep!

The ultimate crush

Send me a few of your gift ideas as I come up with my own, too!




The First Step

The First Step


My life story has stuff that can rival any TV soap.

I got pregnant and cried like crazy because my child’s father walked out on me and my dreams crumbled right before my eyes.  Little did I know that what I saw as the greatest obstacle turned out to be the greatest blessing.

I left a 9-5 corporate job and was jobless for a couple of months.  Then I discovered the Internet, and all its amazing power.

I got hooked!

So what got me started? I wasn’t even tech-savvy and still have to sit very still to churn out credible code.  I was nearly bankrupt and I have a daughter to feed and care for, not to mention debts to pay so I can get a better credit report.  I couldn’t even afford a roof over our own heads!


So what I did was…..

Pool whatever resources I had left

Signed up for online jobs and submitted my portfolio to employers online while on the side, I wanted to find means to augment whatever income I may earn.


I am forever indebted to my first online Employer for helping me get started online.  His patience and guidance immensely helped and inspired me to become a better person and to readily start from scratch.


Seeing oneself as broken glass wouldn’t bring you anywhere near your goals.  I always wake up realizing I am truly on my way to rebuild my dreams and my life for my daughter.

I call this my accidental vocation.

The road to rebuilding one’s career and one’s life is challenging, but fun if you discover your passion and use it to fuel your dreams.


There are millions of chances given to us every single day and all we have to do is grab whatever wins your heart over.

I couldn’t discount the help of my friends, colleagues and family.  But if I didn’t take heart and welcome the challenge to live a better life, I wouldn’t know how my life and my daughter’s turned out to be.

If I can do it, so can you.

JUST TAKE HEART and give it your best shot !!!